Tabloid Dramatisation: A Load of Tosh

"You know what Lionel? I think I might call it a day..."

There are the most ridiculous rumours circling at the moment, especially with regard to the future of some managers, and it really makes you stop and think: who on earth thinks the printing of such nonsense is a good idea? Yes, the Premier League season is over and the British press obviously needs to do something to occupy themselves over the Summer, and making up ridiculous rumours is pretty much their fallback for times like this when the news may have slowed.

But a couple of rumours that I heard in particular annoyed me. Firstly, I heard the absolutely insane suggestion that some newspapers had reported that Pep Guardiola, fresh from his first season in management, during which he won the treble (the freaking treble) with Barcelona, may be considering retirement. I just have to say that I cannot even begin to comprehend the absolute inane stupidity of that suggestion.

Yes, we all know of the old cliches that you should “quit while you’re ahead” or “bow out at the top”, but this is ridiculous. There is an argument that Guardiola can hardly hope to surpass this season’s achievements in the rest of his managerial career, but hell he’s going to try! He’s inspired what is arguably one of the greatest domestic sides ever seen to a famous treble and people genuinely think that it’s worth printing a story that he may step down? I’m pretty sure that even the most gullible people in the world will struggle to swallow that one.

Next up, are the suggestions doing the rounds that Owen Coyle, the man who has taken Burnley up to the Premier League via the playoffs, could be off to Celtic. Now of course, Coyle as a Scotsman may indeed harbour ambitions to manage Celtic one day, but I think I am right in saying that that day does not come so soon after he has reached the Premier League.

Because yes, Celtic are a bigger club than Burnley and offer him the chance to manage in Europe. But overall, the quality of the Scottish League is far lower than the Premier League, which is the best league in the world at present. So while there is a slight shred of plausibility about this one, I think we really need to take a step back and ask ourselves why these rumours are being given the time of day.

I just think that it is pretty sad that we cannot go even a few days without the emergence of some sort of wild rumour. It’s like being back at school, with gossip flying around the playground. I know that these newspapers are in the business of sales, but I fail to believe that someone is gonna pick a paper up off a newstand, flick through and see the headline “Guardiola to retire” or “Coyle to Celtic” and think “you know, there’s something in that, I’ll buy this paper”.

Surely even the most desperate football fan, in the very depths of the off season when he is completely starved of any sort of news of signings or any real, worthwhile goings on in the world of football would instead think “what a load of crap, with that sort of desperate journalism, I’m sure no one will ever by this paper”. I think what frustrates me the most is that here we are, facing a barren, football-less period, and all I have to look forward to are these ridiculous absurd rumours all summer.

That’s not a great prospect. I’m not saying that I’ll be able to come up with something better, and though I usually post new articles daily on my site I’m expecting to struggle to maintain that over the off-season. I’ve accepted that, and though it’s disappointing, I don’t think I’m going to have to resort to fabricating wild speculation to fill in the void.

Just imagine how the fans of the two clubs involved feel. Barcelona’s fans, if any of them are yet sober enough to be able to read, will look at the paper and (assuming that they’re gullible enough to believe it, which they almost certainly aren’t, but it’s just to make a point) be devastated at the thought that Guardiola, their hero, the man who has brought them such a stunning season, could be about to slip away just as suddenly as he stepped in to their club.

Likewise Burnley fans (assuming a similar suspension of disbelief with regard to their IQs) would be appalled to find that the man who has led them into the promised land that is Premier League football could be jumping ship to go and compete in a two horse race. Surely, they’ll think, he should have at least one go at the Premier League that he fought so hard to reach.

And of course he should, just as Guardiola will attempt to defend his titles next season. This sort of ridiculous rumour-mongering sums up everything that is wrong with the British press. They don’t care who they insult, who they undermine and who they fool, as long as there could be a bit of shock value in it, they’ll report it. But it’s supposed to be about delivering news or at least (as in my case) educated opinions. The mere fabrication of implausible lies is devaluing the entire industry and frustrating a lot of fans.

If I were you this summer, I’d steer clear from these types of stories as there’s nothing except comedic value in them. It is going to be a long and barren summer in terms of football, but I think that in turning to the tabloids out of desperation you will only make it worse for yourself.

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My advice to Arsenal fans: Lower your expectations and be happy you’re qualifying for Champions League

The header says it all.

But I didn’t came up with the header for no reason. Only a real, major turning point can make me give an article a title so harsh, so clear-cut title. So what is that major turning point?

Aston Villa 2-2 Arsenal.

Not convincing enough? How about this:

Clearly, Aston Villa had more chances, although they lack possession. Aston Villa should have won. What? Oh my gosh.

In the past it’s always Arsenal being in Aston Villa’s position, having lots of chances, dominating possession but they just somehow, someway, doesn’t get the win they deserve. Examples include the match against Stoke and some will argue Sunderland and Hull. This time it’s Aston Villa who have lots of shots, forcing Almunia to make saves, and the defence to be tested to the limit.

Kudos to Sagna

Yep, kudos to him. Man of the Match in my opinion. In attack he was delivering crosses, and at the back he was making superb clearances and well-timed tackles. For now I would say he’s better than Clichy, as he’s more consistent, and defending or attacking is a no-problem for him.

Sagna - Better than Clichy

Diaby

I had to write an article specially on him just for his incredible backheel-plus-nutmeg. Check it out.

Ashley Young’s one of the hottest youngsters at the moment

The Ronaldo Impersonation attempt

Last season he already drew media attention with his performances, but this season he establish himself as a key man behind Aston Villa’s attack. Perhaps one of the players that is responsible for the league position Villa are in, he’s fast, he dribbles well, he’s an expert freekick taker, he can score and he can create. What more do you ask from a 23 year-old winger? And honestly his dressing style kinda reminds me of Cristiano Ronaldo, you know, the long socks and the shirt sleeves. No wonder Real Madrid wants him. Can’t get the original? Then go for the imitation!

Don’t bother aruging, it WAS a penalty

Yes, it was a penalty. Normally people tend to use excuses such as poor refereeing to blame for their under-performance, but it is a penalty, and long time watchers of football should be able to tell that Gallas’ tackle had no contact with the ball, and it was an obvious penalty. I don’t really blame Gallas for that though, he was just unlucky that it wasn’t somebody else committing the tackle.

Back to the title

Back to my heading. So Arsenal fans, i suggest you stop talking or thinking about winning the league and how you all “still stand a chance”. It’s over, and I can only imagine Arsenal getting as far as 3rd. In fact they should even be happy they can qualify for the Champions League, because Aston Villa’s a really good team this season, and i would expect a close fight between the Villains and the Gunners, just like how they did with Spurs 2 years ago.

Remember the kiss on Highbury's turf that just got Arsenal into the Champions League? Expect the same this season, just that it's gonna be a slap on the face

I want to hear from all the Arsenal fans out there. Surely you feel the same way I do? Or you still stubbornly think that Arsenal can still win the league? Tell me more in the comments box.

Dariano

AS Roma and Arsenal: More than just Opponents

So, the Champions League draw have been over, and I have to admit one of the most anticipated matches is Inter vs Man Utd. Italian champions vs English champions. I’m an Arsenal fan, so I’m rather happy about it. Man Utd think they are the best, well eat this! Let’s see how you get past Inter.

But there is another fixture I’m very much looking forward to. Roma vs Arsenal. Why? Both are my favourite teams, and they are 2 very similar clubs. Mirror image in other words.

Firstly, both clubs are having some financial problem. Which is the reason why both clubs doesn’t spend big. Look at the players Arsenal and Roma have signed in the past few seasons: While big stars like Cristian Chivu left, instead of getting a big money replacement Luciano Spalleti got Juan for a mere 6.3 million euros. When the legend of Arsenal, Thierry Henry left, many people was thinking whether his replacement could lived up to expectations. Arsene Wenger chose to fork out only 8 million to sign Eduardo Da Silva, and although he’s injured at the moment, his future looks bright.

Secondly, both clubs have been praised for their brilliant attacking football. Arsenal was believed to have played the best football ever seen in England during their “Invincibles” season (2003/04), and up till today they do just that. Roma have been praised by pundits for playing exciting, attacking football since Luciano Spalleti took over and deployed the 4-5-1 formation. Normally in football it’s “the beauty vs the beast”, but I believe in this match, both clubs will be known as “the beauties” and will be fighting their asses off.

Roma's golden boy, Francesco Totti

Lastly, both clubs have their own “star talisman” of the team. Francesco Totti have always been associated with AS Roma, and up till today the fans still “worship” him. Francesc Fabregas, although only 21 years of age, has been one of the most popular players in Arsenal at the moment, and seeing how similar both players’ style of play are, it’s certainly a battle of the golden boys. However years ago this could be even more intense, when Thierry Henry was still at Arsenal. I’m sure about 4 years ago everybody wanted to see the 2 best strikers at their peak facing each other on the football field. What a match it would be.

Arsenal's club legend, Thierry Henry

Dariano

Do you agree with me that arsenal and Roma are actually very similar? Or do you feel there’s actually another Serie A club that is even more identical with Arsenal (eg. Juventus?)? Tell me below in the comments box or register at our forum, it’s fast and easy. Thanks for reading.